Magnus Mulqvist

WARLORDER OF ALT.STUPIDTY

Down the hall and to the right is the alt.fan.warlord newsgroup. Their purpose is to seek out and destroy (warlord) bad signatures (.sigs) in newsgroup messages. Bad .sigs are those that don't fit within the McQuary limit. Basically, a McQ .sig must begin with two dashes and a space (-- ) on one line and followed by not more than four lines of ASCII text with less than 80 characters per line. As long as the text is within those specifications, even ASCII art is acceptable (whether good or bad). The AFW people rigidly adhere to those rules. Thus, ASCII art that is not part of a .sig is usually ignored.

On the other ham, the regulars in the alt.stupidity newsfroup have an unwritten (until now), much looser definition: Anybody posting ASCII art of any kind into alt.stupidity is fair game. Quality doesn't matter.

Though several people in alt.stupidty have warlorded ASCII art now and then, Magnus has gained a rep of instantly decapitating any picture that fails to be alert and exposes it's ASCII neck to his sword, Fragarach. Only on rare occasions does he have to call in me or Anti-JN (Slayer of the Fluffy Ones) for assistance.

As usual, my name appears too often in these posts, but--hey--it's my Web page...


Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Date: 27 Jun 1995 Subject: Re: Today's my birthday! In article <3sm9vs$eat@news.uit.no> runee@stud.cs.uit.no (Rune Haetta Eidhammer) writes: > > \ \|||//\\|||// Real name: | "Hvis menneskehjernen hadde vært så > (,(,) (,),) Rune H.Eidhammer | enkel at vi kunne forstå den, hadde vi > ((_) )( (_)) Email: | vært for dumme til å forstå den > ( @ / \ @ ) runee@stud.cs.uit.no | likevel" > \__/ \__/ | - Jostein Gaarder > I have no idea what they are, so I'll decapitate them. Just in case. Real name: | "Hvis menneskehjernen hadde vært så Rune H.Eidhammer | enkel at vi kunne forstå den, hadde vi Email: | vært for dumme til å forstå den runee@stud.cs.uit.no | likevel" /¨^^¨\ /¨^^¨\ | - Jostein Gaarder
From: tortess@panix.com (Tortess) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: Pronuncia...pronounci...talk'n rite Date: 30 Aug 1995 09:22:36 -0400 Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: : In article <41j8n5$qn0$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: : >tweldond@atlas.tus.ssi1.com (David Weldon) wrote: : >: X o : >: v : >: \___/ : >: U : >hmmmm... : > o : > X v : > \|/ : > -POP- : > \ /|\ : > - _- / : > U : >Sorry, Magnus, I just couldn't see how you could : >handle that one by yourself. : >--Bill : Thanks Bill, it's OK, I was pretty confused myself. : *MM Thanks, Bill and Magnus. Thanks David. Night, John-boy. -- Gesundheit.
From: vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: SONGS ABOUT (...) Microsoft and the Mighty Bill Date: Fri, 24 Nov 1995 11:46:19 LOCAL Organization: Noitazinagro In article <48s6bb$at@oravannahka.Helsinki.FI> abrax@cc.Helsinki.FI (Antti S Brax) writes: >BTW. Has anyone noticed the deterioration of this newsgroup? >No one seems to be interested in destroying the dirt anymore... >-- >+=======================================================================- > CAUTION: Keep pen cap out of mouth, it > can obstruct breathing if swallowed. > (__) (__) > This document came from _____|OO| |OO|_____ Antti.Brax@Helsinki.Fi > /| |__| |__| |\ > X |______/ \______| X > ______________________||__||_______||__||_______________________ >-=======================================================================+ Izitso? Well here's to you feller countryman: +=======================================================================- CAUTION: Keep pen cap out of mouth, it can obstruct breathing if swallowed. This document came from ______ ______ Antti.Brax@Helsinki.Fi /| (*) (v) |\ X |______/; :\______| X ______________________||__||_.___,_||__||_______________________ -=======================================================================+ *MM
From: vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: THE END IS NIGH! REPENT! RETURN YOUR LIBRARY BOOKS! Date: Tue, 28 Nov 1995 16:28:47 LOCAL Organization: Noitazinagro In article <490h5t$gg0$2@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >yusuf921@goshawk.csrv.uidaho.edu (Syed Ysuf) wrote to someone: >:> On second thoughts, no it isn't. >:prove it :) >:-- >: O O >: <|\ -/> >: /~>o /~< >Magnus? Anti-JN? Could one of you take care of this? >I'm kinda busy at the moment. >--Bill Sorry Bill, after the last miss Fragarach is getting sharpened. Gotta try it your way... .::. ( ) ( ( ¨ ) ( : ) |||| ( )) ( ( ¨ ) ( ~ ) ) ( ( ) |||| \||||/ .:;||II||;:. Oops. *MM
From: vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity,alt.tasteless Subject: Re: Tasteless christmas carols Date: Wed, 29 Nov 1995 21:51:38 LOCAL In article <49baqv$qis@nuscc.nus.sg> matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: >: -- >: ;,//;, ,;/ "Come, follow me, " Jesus said, "and I >: o:::::::;;/// will make you fishers of men." >: >::::::::;;\\\ - Mat 4:19 >: ''\\\\\'" ';\ ...aaaaaannddd ZWOPP ,//;, ,;/ |:::::;;/// |:::::;;\\\ '\\\\\'" ';\ Easy catch. *MM
From: vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: YIKES!!! (was: YIKES!!!) Date: Thu, 30 Nov 1995 19:05:37 LOCAL Organization: Noitazinagro In article <49gh0o$36i$1@mhafm.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >:In article <49b1vj$sgh@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com >:(Tortess) writes: >:>tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: >:>: mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) writ: >:>: >Before the dawn of the third age of Man, >:>: >fs5a182@rzaix05.uni-hamburg.de (Gwyneth Kozbial) wrote: >:>: >>Russ "Going drinking soon" Reynolds (russ@acs.bu.edu) >:>: >>wrote: >:>: >>: In article >:>: >>: <486a25$shr$1@mhafc.production.compuserve.com>, >:>: >>: Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >:>: >>: |> EGADS!!! >:>: >>: HARUMPH! >:>: >> baROOOOOOgah! >:>: > HTH! >:>: Zoinks! >:> Gesundheit! >: Bang! Blam! >O MY GAWD!!! Magnus! You shot Tortess!!!! Uh-mmm. Sorry 'bout that. Huh huh huh. I kinda missed him. Yeah, me too. Hehehehehehehe. Hehehehe. *MM
From: vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: NAKED DANCING LLAMAS FTP SITE Date: Wed, 6 Dec 1995 13:06:47 LOCAL Organization: Noitazinagro In article Maad Charlie!! writes: >On Tue, 5 Dec 1995, Gardner S Trask wrote: >> >> Just when you least expect it ..... >> >> >> >> \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> (__?\v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> |xx| \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> (__) \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> \ \__\v^v^\_ \v^v^\ >> ( (\v^v^\)--~~ \v^v^\ >> (______\v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> || (\v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> !! '\v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> \v^v^\ \v^v^\ >> >You BASTARD >but the cow returns ( with back-up) > ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha > HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH > (__) (__? > |..| |..| > (__) (__) > _________/ / \ \_________ > ~~--( (__) ) ( (__) )--~~ > \__________) (______ __/ > ||( ) || || ( )|| > !! '' !! !! ''!! >//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// >||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| Halp! Bill! These creatures multiply faster than I can swing Fragarach! *MM
From: vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: Test Ignore (was: Blueberries.) Date: Tue, 13 Feb 1996 16:34:08 LOCAL Organization: Noitazinagro In article <4fp0fl$mb2@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes: >From: sdc@teleport.com () >Subject: Test Ignore (was: Blueberries.) >Date: 13 Feb 1996 03:27:48 GMT >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >: jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) wrote: >: :You could lure him out with the twinkie, and then throw the >: :golf ballsh at him, and when he ish dishtracted yoou can >: :shteal hish axhe. >: Is that some kind of spell to neutralize Magnus' Fragarach >: or Anti-JN's ASCII sword? >: Thnik of the terrible consequences before you cast it! >: FLUFFIES and BAUGS will overrun altdotstoopididity!!! >(Meeyoww) > \ , , > \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_. > \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`) > ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-' > _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .' > (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-' Migawd! It haunts me!! (Urghh.) \ , , \ ("\''/")._ _..--) ( )''"'_. \ __ `+_ + ) ) ( ) `_) (: ). ( ).`) __.__.`) ( Y .)' .) ( 8 )_ ) ( ) ` _`.`) ()'_..-' _.. `^-''_..) (,)-_/) /--'_.' .' (il )) ()-'' () -.' ((!.-' *MM
From: elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: Unconstitutional US Government Date: Tue, 26 Mar 1996 13:19:07 LOCAL Organization: Noitazinagro Message-ID: References: <4ilpnl$2nn@crcnis3.unl.edu> <4inqee$rpd$1@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> <3156963A.4181@mts.dbo.dec.com> In article <3156963A.4181@mts.dbo.dec.com> _amp writes: > ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ > {~._.~} {~:_:~} {~...~} {~+_+~} {~___~} > ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) > ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() > (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) > Koala Koala Koala Dead Sleeping > saying saying koala koala > yes no > ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ > {~-_-~} {~p_q~} {~o o~} {~._.~} {~._.~} > ( Y ) ( Y ) ( . ) ( Y ) ( Y ) > ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()v-v() > (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)Y(_) (_)^(_) > Asian A very Surprised Male Female > koala tired koala koala koala > koala > ___ ___ _ ___ _ ___ ___ > {~._.~} {~===~} \~._.~/ {~x_x~} {~. .~} > _( Y )_ ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ( V ) > (:_~*~_:) ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() > (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) > Hugging Jordi Spock Pissed Pinocchio > koala koala koala koala koala > * > ___ ___ _ _ /_\ ___ > {~._.~} {~._.~} ( )-( ) {~._.~} {~._.~} > ( Y ) ( Y ) ()_*_() ( Y ) ( Y ) > j~*~l ()~*~() ( v ) ()~*~() ~H~ > (_)-(_) l_T_| {_` '_} (_)-(_) H > ~~~ ~ > 'armless Standing Upside Party Koala > koala koala down koala icecream > koala > . . > ___ // .---. // _ _ ___ > {~._.~}// Y|o o|Y// {~.V.~} . . {~._.~} > ( Y )K/ /_(i=i)K/ ( Y ) ( Y ) > ()~*~() ~()~*~()~ ()~*~() ()~S~() > (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) /(_)-(_)\ > ~ ~ > Luke Darth Koala with Invisible Superman > Skywalker Vader a splitting koala koala > koala koala headache >Well, that's Bill sorted and enough fodder to last Magnus a fair while.. >*rubs hands together*Yeah! Yeah! What he said! ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) Headless Headless Headless Headless Headless koala koala koala dead sleeping saying saying koala koala yes no ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()v-v() (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)Y(_) (_)^(_) Headless Headless Headless Headless Headless Asian very surprised male female koala tired koala koala koala koala ___ ___ _ ___ _ ___ ___ (:_~*~_:) ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) Headless Headless Headless Headless Headless hugging Jordi Spock pissed Pinocchio koala koala koala koala koala j~*~l ()~*~() (~)-(~) ()~*~() ~H~ (_)-(_) l_T_| ()_*_() (_)-(_) H Headless Headless Headless Headless Headless armless standing upside party koala koala koala down koala icecream koala ___ .---. _ _ ___ ()~*~() ~()~*~()~ ()~*~() ()~S~() (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) /(_)-(_)\ ~ ~ Headless Headless Koala Invisible Headless Luke Darth cured from koala Superman Skywalker Vader a splitting (probably koala koala koala headache headless) *MM
From: tortess@panix.com (Tortess) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Subject: Re: Four weddings minus three and not any funerals at all! Date: 21 Aug 1996 17:02:23 -0400 Organization: Netland Park Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: : In article <4v2nd4$5hu@kona.javanet.com> spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: : >In article , : >Magnus Mulqvist wrote: : >>In article <4upeir$p20@kona.javanet.com> spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) : >writes: : >>>In article <4uoi1d$dhb@panix3.panix.com>, Tortess wrote: : >>>>Wxwilki (wxwilki@aol.com) wrote: : >> : >>>>: Well, Magnus was, but was using explosives instead of Fragarach. : >>>> : >>>>Is that like Reah? Or Ruggelah? Or Friar Tuck? Or puking? What IS that? : >> : >>>Burt Fragarach? Down at Fragarach? Huh? : >> : >>It's Fragarach Claidheamhmor, all sharpened and polished. Duck, : >>ye sacrilegers (sp?), iconoclasts and blasphemers! Duck very fast! : >Yay! Pretentious Scot whisky! : Pretentious or not, it helps you duck very fast when consumed properly. Which brings us back to fragarach, I guess. -- Tortess, who's made worse noises after drinking whisky and then ducking very fast. : *MM I swear, that's the weirdest cyclops smiley I've ever done seen. -- Gesundheit.
Subject: Re: Wanna Fight? From: Mulqvist@NOSPAM.REMOVE.hotmail.com (Magnus Mulqvist) Newsgroups: alt.stupidity Date: Sat, 28 Apr 2001 21:09:19 GMT Organization: Sirius I Co. In article <9c5t3h$3qj$1@news.uit.no>, viking97@ekran.no (The Last Viking) wrote: >A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... ~T wrote: >:> BillDing42 wrote in message... > >:>>Pull down yer pants and do it right. >:> Sheesh Bill. Keep your lurid sex life out of this here >:> family newsfroup. > >I think there should be more sex in this froup. Here is a >picture of me, butt naked: > >\o/ > X >/|\ I have no idea what that is, so I'll decapitate it. Just in case. \o/ X /¨\ *MM
Thwop!